Yes to Suffering.

'The ego says, "I shouldn't have to suffer," and that thought makes you suffer so much more. It is a distortion of the truth, which is always paradoxical. The truth is that you need to say yes to suffering before you can transcend it.' Eckhart Tolle 'A New Earth.'

Conscious suffering, now there's an idea. I am here to CONSCIOUSLY express my gratitude for my struggles and pain. Deep in my heart I know it has propelled me along the path that I have chosen and I know that my life is richer as a result. Goddamn it's been mighty uncomfortable for me, and people close to me but more than ever I am ready to welcome and embrace all the experiences that present in my life. I wonder why I have always blindly expected comfort, where does that belief come from? I have always had a challenge with embracing the full spectrum of human emotion and experience especially when my belief has so often been that pain/depression/sadness = bad/failure me and happy/well adjusted/high energy = good/successful me. 

I am in awe of the space that opens up by simply allowing myself to feel without judgement and without the desire for the situation to be any different. This is tough work but I have noticed that by approaching pain in this way and letting up on the fight, the resisting, then a whole lot of space opens up for meeting with and embracing suffering, allowing the suffering to bubble to the surface and dissipate. Such a lovely thing to keep in mind when I am engaging with people that I'd rather not engage with, those communications where defensiveness and aggression are ready to rear up at any moment. I'll need to post after the inlaws visit next week.

What does it really mean to meet ourselves where we are in each moment? What does it really mean to meet another person fresh and alert in each moment? Is this Love, is this love, is this love that I'm feeling?

The Guesthouse - Rumi

This being human is  guesthouse

Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,

some momentary awareness comes

as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!

Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,

who violently sweep your house empty

of it's furniture, still treat each guest

honorably.

He may be clearing you out for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice, meet them

at the door laughing, and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes, because each has

been sent as a guide from beyond.

Today has been quite lovely. A walk with my gorgeous pregnant friend this morning which included a long chat about how giving birth is such an honor and an experience we are both excited to fully participate in, her before me at this stage. Her baby bump is ridiculously perfect. I made a pot of soup and had a first date with a new friend. We both got to indulge in talking about yoga, not everyone I know has the same all-consuming interest in the topic that I do. My sweet man and I picked a mega load of tommies from our garden and we have just jarred our first batch of shit-hot, delicious pasta sauce. It's mind blowing stuff, we should SO be an old Mamma and Papa living in Tuscany. It's hard to beat the feeling of making a meal from food that has traveled less than ten metres from garden to table. Practice was cool, restorative opening moving into mellow salutes moving into strong-ish standing twists moving into wall lunge, splits, handstand and then winding down into shavasana and a mellow sit. We went out to the local reservoir for a dip. It's getting cold out there but I am so delighted by being fully immersed in a body of water that I don't even notice the chill. We have got through twenty-five rounds of dishes (the downside to preserving) and I feel a DVD in bed coming on. SSSHHH, don't tell the hippies that we watch movies on our computer in bed.