This past week has been full to the brim with activity in the world. The sort of busy week that would previously have sent me into a downward spin ending in feeling exhausted and fragile. Yesterday I drove almost an hour to give two Shiatsu's and then drove home again. On the way home I was blaring the stereo while attempting to make a phone call while doing 110km/hour. Impressive hey! Okay maybe not so impressive. Amidst the noise and the frantic energy to do jobs while driving fast was a flash moment, a voice that whispered 'it's okay, relax sweetie.' A soft and gentle voice soothing my fatigue and my attempts to keep going by amping up on adrenalin. I turned off the music, put the phone down and decelerated. I DECELERATED. In that moment my breath became deeper and my front body, which felt about two feet in front of my actual body, sank toward my back body, my seat sinking into the car seat. I started noticing the way the landscape has changed in these early days of autumn and how it feels less harsh than it did even a few weeks ago. I felt blessed to have a big, wide 'australian sky' view of the descending sun. I exhaled, I exhaled and then exhaled again.
By the time I got home I felt calm yet energised and I felt completely available to connect with Dale and share stories from the day. He told me friends were coming for a make-shift dinner, which may have been cause for freak out, and yet I set to work cooking beans and mint from the garden while sharing moments to have a little dance. This feels like GRACE, this feels like the universe affirming my practice and affirming my willingness to step out of the way. This experience is a new and precious gift.
Yesterday
I lived inside
My mind's disastrous uncertainty-sea.
Today
I am living inside
My heart's rapturous divinity-ocean.
This is what my Lord's
Unconditional Grace
Has done for me.
-Sri Chinmoy
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