Ramblings.

The walk from the shops back up the hill to my house use to take me between five and ten minutes. Now it takes me about twenty-five minutes. For the past six weeks or so I have lingered down the street hoping to bump into a friend who might give me a ride up the hill to my house. A few weeks back a paid $4.90 for a cab to drive me less than one kilometre home. Today Dale dropped me at the store on his way to work and said I should get a cab home. Well there were no cabs waiting in the taxi rank so I started the huffy plod up the road to home. I'd only gone one block when someone I sort of know stopped at the intersection of the road I was crossing. He smiled and waved. I smiled and said "you going up the hill? Can you give me a ride?" He was very sweet and did not hesitate. I told him I was 38 weeks and 1 day and he looked like he wanted to get me out of his car quick smart before I went into labor! Thank you for the lift Graham. I think I may have been crying by the time I got home if I had to walk the whole way.

Sally dropped in last night with the final attachments for the birthing pool. She gave me a little bronze fertility statue that is handed to the next birthing woman. That's me!

My sister came out from the city yesterday. She lay with her ear to my belly and was able to listen to bub's heart beat just like that. I had heard it was possible but no one had tried. I was so happy that my sister was able to do that with the little one. Then bub elbowed her in the ear. We had a lovely giggle.

38 weeks and counting.

Today I am 38 weeks pregnant. 37 weeks onwards is considered full term.

Last night I had my birth support meeting. This involved my beautiful birth support team gathering in my home to share food, give me loads of attention and chat about any feelings we were having around the event. We did discuss some of the logistics of home birthing such as putting the birth pool together (Dale's job) and a birth plan if we needed to be transferred to hospital. It was such a nourishing and peaceful evening. I think I dropped even more deeply into a calm and relaxed space. At the end of the night Dale and I lay down on the futon in the lounge together and Sally, our main midwife, placed her hands on us and did a beautiful affirmation. My favourite line is when she says "there is so much love for you out here little baby."

I went to bed completely blissed out and excited about our baby's arrival. Two hours later I awoke from a dream with mild period-like cramping running from my uterus down into my legs. This was a new sensation. In sleepy tones I said to Dale, "I'm having some period type pain right now, it woke me up." He stirred a little and then we both lay there a little more awake and alert wondering if this would be the night. Well the cramps passed and we went back to sleep. I woke this morning feeling nothing unusual but a little buzzed about the new tricks my baby and uterus were performing. Go little baby. You are amazing. Our bodies are amazing.

This morning I told Dale that I did not want to ever begrudge and whine about pregnancy and labor. I know I might get sookie at some point during the birth but right now I feel so honored and blessed to have this experience and no matter how challenging it is I promised him and our baby that I would always see this extraordinary experience as a profound blessing.

My midwife left us at 10pm last night and went on to deliver a little boy at 1am this morning. She had mentioned that she may have a baby arrive last night so when I woke to cramps I did mention to the little one that Sally might be busy and could we hold off another night? Thank you little one.

I am no pin-up gal for smooth and challenge-free pregnancy (you'll have to look to Angelina for that). I have had some impressive symptoms and have felt rotten from time to time. It has been wild and wonderful watching my body change. Some days I have felt fully surrendered to the process and other days I have felt sad and resistant. This little human has taught me so much already. I cannot wait for us meet each other's gaze.