Heart Song.

I am playing a song on repeat. I think it's played for at least 45 minutes over and over and over. I do this alot. It's as if the song stirs some deep longing in my heart. It feels like I am being nostalgic but it is not connected to a specific memory or time or place. It is a mixture of a boy I use to love, a foreign city I walked through at 4am, the first time Dale held my hand, my first share house, a time when I would take off on an adventure without a cent to my name. I think it is a homesickness for spirit. A desire to be held and nutured, to tend that ever-present flame in my heart that is the divine, my beingness. The song, the melody ignites the flame and warms my heart. 

Today this all makes perfect sense. I am tired. I have been tending to guests for almost a week and there has been little time to soften into a long yoga practice, to let my shoulders release and exhale. Of course, taking my practice off the mat and into the world is the idea but I am a slow learner. I am grateful for my guests and the sharing that happens between family and friends and I am grateful when they go home.

The song is 'Orange Sky' by Alexi Murdoch. It was played in a class I took last May at Exhale, Venice Beach.