'We need intimacy, not enlightenment.'
These days it seems as though some effort needs to be made to create space for intimate relationship with other human beings. There are so many things that oppose cultivating truly present and intimate engagement with ourselves, with others and with life itself. So many gadgets that supposedly keep us 'connected' and yet so many people feel deep disconnection and isolation.
Today I was in the city and I noticed a woman wearing an amazing bright green top, she looked beautiful and so alive. As she went by I said, "your top is so beautiful, you look lovely." I have to admit she looked a little shocked and then started gushing with gratitude that a stranger had made a kind remark to her. This is not something I do often or easily, I actually made a conscious effort to briefly connect with her. I was curious about how she might respond and how a moment of intimacy with a stranger might feel. The result affirms that the effort required to cultivate intimacy is worth that moment of joy that comes from saying to someone in some way 'Hey, I noticed you. You are unique and divine. You are deserving of love and respect. I acknowledge you.'
This is exactly what I do and exactly what I am saying when I create time in my life to practice yoga or nap or meditate or walk slowly in nature. It's my way of cultivating intimacy with myself; having a loving, tender and present relationship with myself and therefore LIFE. For me, the most assuring result of being willing to explore intimacy is the deep trust and sense of being nourished that begins to flow. Beyond the shaky ground of fear and uncertainty lies a deep and rich well of love and a sense that everything is perfect, there is nothing to fix or change. It always comes back to relaxing and relaxing and relaxing and relaxing and then relaxing again.
The jumble and muddle of questions that overwhelm me are part of that shaky ground of fear and 'not-knowing.' I once heard someone say that not knowing is fine, it is not knowing and thinking that you should know that creates confusion. Beyond the tangle of questions that arise out of what appears to be a mountain of choices is the answer, clear and bright. I don't know and everything is perfect. I am immersed in this new and intimate connection. I am staring deeply into the heart of not knowing, lying in the warm embrace of not knowing and relishing every rich moment.
If you are reading this; thank you for being here. I acknowledge you and I acknowledge all that you have experienced in your life thus far. I have time to include you in my prayers and to share a moment of intimacy with you despite not knowing intimate details of your life. Thank you.
3 comments:
wow.
this was a beautiful and so important post. I loved your story about sharing the compliment with the stranger.
I tend to do this alot... actually. About 80% of the time I get positive responses, but there are always a few who look at me like I have five heads. Especially in the larger centers where I have lived, I actually had to change this part of my habits... it wasn't safe anymore to open a dialogue with strangers (i.e. Montreal).
We get so caught up in the ego, thinking 'why doesn't anyone comment on.... today?' that we forget that giving is just as uplifting and beautiful :)
Blessings!
Gosh, that's beautiful!
Would it be ok if I republished some of it on my blog?
I also compliment stangers a lot - I seem to not realise this might be weird! And twice in the last few weeks, a stranger has been crying on the tram. Both times I just felt so moved to reach out and touch them, ask if they were ok. Both times, I got a positive response. We do jusst need intimacy. Not money, not looks, none of that, beyond our basic needs, of course!
hello Nadine,
feel free to publish some of what I wrote.
Kate xo
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